within the bird cage
by Tapioca-Kiss-Horvath
Summary: within a secret garden, behind an old stone wall, lay a myriad of secrets waiting to be unveiled. NxM drama
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to chapter one!

I think I'll let this be a many chaptered story, though its still not very long.

A few notes~

First off, the lyrics I made up so sorry if they're lame. I like to make up stuff, even if its lame. T.T

In this story too, the ages are a free for all, but I'm imagining kind of young characters myself...

Lastly, I'm not super set on it but I think I'm having the story take place in Victorian times. Basically, not a ton of high tech technology and sort of old fashioned clothes. But I'll leave it at that. ^.^

* * *

Within the Bird Cage---

Chapter One

Fate, is an interesting thing, the most intriguing factor of course being, does it truly exist?

If it were an easy thing to find out, we might have more complicated questions or confusions on the matter but as it is we can only wonder. Wonder, if everything we do is without a second choice, unchangeable by our desires, striving, or intentions.

But if there was or had there been such a cruel and beautiful thing as fate, it would have been fate.

Fate, for Natsume and Mikan to meet.

He hadn't decided to go to the garden by choice.

In fact he'd barely known of its existence at all until about ten minutes previously, when, while under the pursuit of his,ugh, master, even the the thought of the word made him feel disgusted, Persona, who had told him he was his savior, and was actually just there to push him around, and have him kill people.

Natsume hated this. He couldn't feel pain or fear or even sadness. Just hate. It consumed him and over flowed from him. He hated the hate but could do nothing about it. It was never ending.

Under swift pursuit, Natsume had barely looked where he was going and when he ducked round a corner into the mysterious garden he found himself actually surprised. The garden probably could have been called beautiful in an overgrown and slightly unnerving way. It was mostly surrounded by thick and very tall stone walls. The walls didn't curve around the garden however, but apparently appeared to enclose themselves around something else. Almost like a crude tower. The walls appeared to be quite old as they were covered with moss and vines that covered more moss and vines and so on as though it were the most popular real estate for moss and vines, even if it were already taken.

The rest of the garden was fairly similar, at least in ways of being mossy and vine covered. It was over all small, quiet, and most importantly, a perfect hiding place.

Or at least it was quiet.

In the middle of the quiet green serenity, a voice appeared.

Ah la, ah ah aah...

A clear sweet sound, not beautiful like real singer, but pure, and free.

_Go _

_run away_

_lets play_

_lets play_

_I want sing_

_I want to fly_

_I want to smile_

_I want to cry_

_the worlds spinning oh so fast_

_how can I make this little feeling last_

_high above me_

_far below me_

_something to show you_

_someone to know you_

_above the world_

_above the sky_

_I've got dreams _

_and wings to try_

_so let me run away_

_run tomorrow_

_and today_

_I just_

_want to play_

Her (as Natsume had derived from the sound of the voice that it was a _her_.) voice trailed off, leaving Natsume almost... starstruck.

It was like in a few verses this mysterious girl had relived him of all his anger. Well, maybe not all of it, but enough to make him really notice. In fact he was so mesmerized by her voice that he couldn't even wonder about the girl herself.

About thirty minutes later Natsume found himself still standing in the same place. Her voice had finally echoed out of him and he heard Persona calling in the distance. Natsume chose this moment to leave quietly.

He couldn't have Persona in his garden. Yes, his garden. It was now a place he needed desperately to be his and his alone.

He couldn't have someone like Persona hear that beautiful voice.

It was his, and his alone.

Always.

* * *

Well, did you like it?

Its going to be a bit tragic probably, but I can't choose my inspirations I'm afraid...

Anyway please leave comments, I'm going to try to update regularly. T.^


	2. Chapter 2

okay, chapter 2. I've done my best and I guess the age ended up being decided, lets have them be the same age I say. I thin my writing went downhill, but that's what happens you know. Writing was never my specialty anyway... then again, what was my specialty?

Well enough of me, just enjoy the story already!

* * *

Within the bird cage---

Chapter two

If you had lived in a cage your whole life, would you still want to leave?

This was the question I asked myself every morning finding it impossible to reach an answer.

Ever since birth I had been told I was "dangerous". In consequence I had never seen outside of the four walls surrounding me. Of course, this might had have driven any number of people crazy, but I couldn't even comprehend such things.

I had always been here. Always.

How could I understand what it might be much less desire to not be within the cage.

For it was a cage, that much I knew.

The four walls that enclosed me, a small shelter, and a single tree for the past 13 years. They were, without a doubt, my cage.

My education had proceeded slowly, Those who, ahem, cared for me, took a long time debating whether to teach me at all. When they finally decided to teach in hopes of good influence they found I was not the quickest learner, and while I managed to learn a good bit of the basics, they gave up from there on.

If I had known more about the world in general, I might have concluded I was a strange being, but as it was, I was ignorant.

I was alive, and that was all I knew, and all that mattered.

Until _he_ came.

Because I had lived in the cage all my life I heard people when they came to the point of almost being able to distinguish their characteristics.

Most people were older, with a heavier, more menacing step. I never liked when they came. They had never really hurt me, but when they came I felt that they could or might, at any moment. And I knew they didn't and wouldn't like me.

So for a long time I had preferred to be alone. But as I said before, that was before he came.

He was different.

He wasn't wary or afraid of me, in fact I doubted he knew I was there at all at first. It was a he, I knew, it would be hard to describe how but that was how it had always been, I just knew.

And his steps weren't heavy, so I assumed he was younger, closer to my age than most who visited me. But he wasn't happy, that much I knew.

Some colossus feeling that was destructive and painful seemed to be eating away at him, It emanated and overflowed from him, even through the thick walls of my cage I felt it, vast and terrible.

It was a feeling I had never known.

But to be honest, I hadn't known a lot of feelings.

Most who came near me were afraid, I knew that even if I had never truly felt it. I returned displeasure at their being there. Pleasure was something else I was not sure about. Of course I felt better when they weren't here, but was that really pleasure?

Sadness too, I didn't understand. I was merely there, why had I any reason to feel this or that though? I was merely there, that was all I knew.

Because I didn't understand what want was.

Until I found something to want.

Him.

Or to be more precise, his feelings.

Except that scary one, it needed to go away.

It was hurting him, I knew.

It made me want something, for the first time ever.

So I did what I always did when I was confused or had some strong feeling I couldn't understand.

I sang.

I don't really understand life or anything else like feelings, but I understand singing.

I just sing the words that come to me so there's really know flow I just sing what I feel.

He was the first to hear me.

I had never wanted anyone to hear me before, I didn't think they would like it anyway, but as I said before, he was different.

I think it made some of the big scary feeling go away and that felt good.

I heard him turn and run away.

I felt... lonely.

As if for the first time I had realized what it might mean to be alone.

Then I thought about something else. He might come back.

That made me happy.

Happy? I had no comprehension of how when or why I had felt it but in that moment I felt it.

Happiness.

* * *

Okay my story is getting seriously tragic! Oh well, I knew I was going there all along. So I'm afraid Mikan's character is a lot different, so sorry about that, it just happened. I'm not actually sure where I'm going with this story... let me know if its just too lame and I need to give up on it. T.T

ah...now I'm depressed.

Please write reviews before I expire. *x*


	3. Chapter 3

Ah, chapter three! Very satisfying, even if its not so well written.

So, I realize some of the following lyrics probably don't make complete sense in the story, but, well you have to cut me some slack.

That's the kind of person I am after all.

Chapter three---

within the bird cage

_remember how_

_we used to be_

_the world to you _

_the world to me_

_remember how I never laughed_

_remember how you never smiled_

_remember how the happy moments_

_weren't filed_

_but between this garden wall_

_where I let my tears fall_

_I start to lose my fears _

_and everything I know_

_disappears_

_the snow was so cold_

_it stung my fingers_

_but when your with me_

_nothing lingers_

_and I don't need to run away_

_and I don't need to hide today_

_for the sun is shining bright_

_and I will absorb the light_

_and I will sing_

_into the sky_

_and I will learn_

_how to fly_

_and I will not run away_

_because I_

_just want to play_

_play~_

Natsume was sitting by the great stone wall, listening to her sing again.

It was probably about their fifth meeting. Well, meeting wasn't really the correct term as technically, they hadn't ever met. But the way she sang when ever he was there, it seemed so natural.

He wondered if she knew he was there. He couldn't be sure, but the words she sang, they seemed... like they were about both of them. It made him feel happy.

It was a strange sensation, happiness, but he could not deny its wonderfulness.

Over the past week he felt as though his entire life had completely changed. He still had problems, with persona and all, but, he didn't hate. Not as much.

Nothing mattered. Nothing at all.

There was only her voice, the garden, and him, listening.

Except one thing.

He couldn't deny the fact that he had become increasingly interested in the girl who had sung his hate away.

He wanted to see her. To talk to her. To know what she was like and what she liked.

But Natsume didn't do this. That wasn't what he was used to doing nor would he get used to it.

Yet.

He had lied.

Another thing was nagging him too.

The wall.

It was very thick, very tall, and seemingly door-less. And her voice definitely was enclosed within the wall. Was she... he didn't really want to think about the possibilities with out even knowing her, but still...

_the clouds have cleared away_

_it is a brand new day_

_so lets just play_

_play~_

Natsume couldn't think.

Not yet.

Not while he could hear her voice.

Not while it was his.

But it would always be his wouldn't it?

It would.

It had to.

But secretly, inside he knew. Knew that something was still very wrong, that it couldn't stay the same forever, and that her voice, and her words that had saved him, couldn't remain safe and untainted forever.

He knew.

uwah, I am such a cheese puff!

Oh well, I can't help it, its my personality.

Like, dislike, can I get some feed back here?

I totally understand if you don't like, but can you just tell me?

I'm not sure who I'm writing this for anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi hi!

(furious glares)

eek! Ok, super sorry! I haven't updated in forever I know, I know.

This chapter is kind of short but...i guess I couldn't think of more to...write...whatever, please just read it and thank you!

...

Chapter 4-

within the bird cage

The trance formation over the next five days was amazing in a word.

I learned what happiness was.

It was having someone listen to me sing. Knowing that they appreciated my voice. It was the anticipation of waiting for him to come.

And I learned what boredom was.

It was being alone. Unable to sing to him. Being unable to do anything at all.

And I learned what life was.

It was happiness, anticipation, annoyance, frustration, laughing, smiling, singing, all because someone was there to listen to me.

I learned that life isn't really life unless theres someone else to live it with.

He changed too.

His great and terrible feeling wasn't gone but I was sure that it had subsided a little at least.

And he liked when I sang.

I liked him for liking me.

I sang a lot, almost everyday. But I didn't sing at all when he wasn't there.

I just couldn't.

It was too lonely.

One day, he didn't come at all.

That was an awful day.

The world was sunny and glowing but I felt miserable.

I sat in the same position all day, annoyed, frustrated, and disappointed.

I wasn't even completely sure why that was.

But the next day he came and I sang so happily I thought I would fly up into the sky.

He was really happy too.

I knew he also felt bad when he couldn't come to me too but I got the feeling it was different.

He was happy when he was with me but whenever he came he was angry.

More than angry. He was filled with the great terrible feeling.

I had a guess as to what it was.

I hadn't learned a lot of words when I had been taught but I had picked up more from listening.

I didn't always understand what they meant but I could usually guess closely enough.

From 13 years listening I supposed the feeling he had would be called "hate".

That word had always scared me a little.

It wasn't a joking feeling.

It was very serious.

People who have that feeling are ticking time bombs too.

It was dangerous to be near them.

But I still wasn't afraid of him.

I guess somehow I just knew he was good.

That was how I found myself born into the world.

My first thought was that I was happy.

My second that I was excited.

My third was that I would always be happy form now on. That everything would always be okay now.

I was wrong of course.

I didn't know but a storm was brewing. inside me, around me, around him, and around us.

At that time I didn't understand that happiness is only what happens before a tragedy and life is only what happens before death.

But how could I?

I had only been born yesterday.

...

ok...how bad did that suck? Reviews please? But if you already reviewed and don't feel like doing it again...thats fine...thanks for reading this far and last but not least if you choose to continue reading my story...i will promise faster updates!

-kittycloud


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize that this is a really short chapter but i'm afraid it can't be helped. Somehow...i can't write long anymore...

Chapter 5-

Within the Bird Cage

The way things happen in this world, its almost unreal, for a lack of better words. The way two cars just happen to meet at a road intersection when there are no other cars on the road. The way you meet someone you used to know in the most unexpected place. The way Natsume and Mikan met. Even if we don't know if these incidents are destined or mere chance, the fact is they happen. And when they happen, something else happens afterwards. Whether a big change, or a little change, something, changes.

We never know what the change will be until it happens or its size either. But usually, once it happens, we remember, that little thing, that caused such a change. And though he didn't know it yet, is was a fact, that Natsume would forever remember, how he changed what was to him and to her, everything.

...

Why had he come here now? Natsume vaguely wondered at his actions. It was a little past sunset and with out any reason at all, he had taken himself to the garden. The air was cooling allowing the hot sticky feeling that had lingered around him all day to congeal into something more solidified. Normally this would annoy him but somehow something was different today. Like something was about to happen.

As he passed under the trees into the garden he heard something unexpected.

Natsume moved a little closer to hear better.

It was her.

She was singing.

Somehow it was very odd to hear her sing when he had not been there already. Like he really shouldn't have been there.

_There is something_

_ringing in my ears_

_something _

_so close that I can't hear_

_a word i've never heard_

_a sound I can not make_

_a scary thing is growing near_

_and I start to break_

Her voice was a bit different than usual. She was singing a bit slowly, and a little lower than usual. Her voice sounded...dangerous. Like the calm before a storm.

_Help me out!_

_Please_

_I want to run away_

_I want to see your face_

_but don't know how_

_to escape._

Her voice grew loud, then mellowed a bit. But there was no longer any calm. The storm was here.

_I want so much right now_

_I never did before_

_but if I was born yesterday_

_how can I want more?_

_The darkness_

_it used to be my friend_

_but now I am afraid_

_as it may be my end_

_why is the world so_

_how could I never know_

_why do they give_

_then take away_

_a miracle_

_that lasts a day_

_I want_

_I want _

_I want_

_to live...forever..._

He was paralyzed. Unable to move or think or do anything at all. He felt like screaming, like crying, he felt hate. He ran. Without even thinking. He was running, then climbing, over the ivy covered wall without stopping to think at all.

And then he reached the top and looked down. And there she was. A small, frail little girl. Her hair in two messy honey brown pigtails, curing a little at the ends. Her eyes a slightly deeper brown, like milk chocolate. She was wearing a white dress, now too small for her. She was covered in dirt, her clothes, her face, even her hair.

She was beautiful.

Inside the stone wall was simple, a bare ground, small shelter, and the walls. There was no opening.

And there was a chain. Two chains. One for each foot.

They stared at each other, two lost birds, the wounded and the caged.

And then, because of what was either a coincidence, or fate, something, changed.

...

are you excited yet? No? Well, i'll try harder anyway. Its getting exciting, look forwards to the next chapter please! ^ ^ oh, and if you don't mind reviewing...

-kittycloud


	6. Chapter 6

ugh...this one's even shorter...i'm sorry...please live with it... I have done...my best...i think...

Chapter Six-

Within the Bird Cage

"It will be time soon."

I didn't think anything when I heard these words. They were meaningless to me at the time. I thought they meant nothing. Actually, I didn't _think _about them at all. At the time I was trying to discover what it was that was confusing me.

I was so happy wasn't I? I had a...a...friend? Was that what we were? Me and him. But that didn't feel right. I didn't know what exactly we were to each other.

But there was a connection. Somehow...we were together.

So what was it I wanted?

I looked round my cage and home.

It looked so...empty.

There was something I wanted...desperately.

I looked down at my feet.

There they were. The bonds, that had been on me for as long as I could remember. They were the reason I had never tried to escape before.

Why did they feel so heavy just now?

I looked up at the sky.

It was getting dark and stars were just starting to peak out of corners in the sky. They twinkled, like they were smiling at me.

I could hear I bird I didn't know the name of, singing, softly.

_There was something I wanted..._

I looked round my cage again.

It was so dark...

And then it came to me. A feeling. A great terrible feeling. A feeling with no end. A feeling that swallows you and never lets go.

A feeling called hate.

I sang.

The song enveloped me. I was nothing. A trivial piece of dust. There was only the feeling. Swallowing, growing, destroying. The world was powerless against it.

And then it died away. And I crumbled. I sat, shaking, left with nothing but the fear that comes only, after hate.

Before I even noticed it, he was there.

I looked up. And there he was, on the wall, looking at me, with a pain that can only come from great hurt, hate, and fear.

His hair was a grayish black, and it was matted against his face. His eyes were strangely red, or crimson, like a vampire. But he was alive. Breathing heavily, right above me. His pale skin seemed to be covered in strange wounds.

We could only stare at each other. Entranced. So we realized our mistake too late.

"Grab it!"

Suddenly I was being bound by further chains, someone was shooting. They were shooting at him. I struggled. But I was still bound. He dodged and—I could no longer see. Someone had blindfolded me.

Then all sound stopped. I heard, or felt, a woman walk up towards the soldiers.

"That's enough." she said. "The boy was probably only curious anyhow."

She paused.

"But it, yes we need to get rid of it. The alice is...dangerous. Remember what the last one was like."

She was talking about me.

Before I could think or speak, my feet were unbound, and I, unseeing was led away, feeling nothing but absolute despair.

I cried.

...

thought the last chapter was suspenseful did you? Get a load of this! but was it written okay? I am not so sure of this one...well in any case if you can review...it would be much appreciated. ^ ^oh and also i'm sorry this a depressing story...it will have a happy end-promise!

-kittycloud


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